Adventurous Beginner

I'm a big fan of A Slob Comes Clean, the blog and podcast by Dana K. White. Her cleaning and decluttering advice is the most effective advice I've found on the topic, and much of it is relevant not only to cleaning and decluttering, but to any kind of work that I want to do but have difficulty getting myself to actually start doing.

Today I listened to her recent podcast episode “Rewarding Myself in a Way that Actually Works” in which she describes the kinds of rewards that are most effective motivators for keeping up with household tasks. This not only got me off my butt to complete a chore I'd been putting off for days as I was listening, on a day when I was pretty committed to doing as little as possible, but also gave me an idea for writing more effective to-do lists.

Rewards that don't work

First, White gave an example of a reward that doesn't work for her: “If I clean the kitchen I'll reward myself with ice cream.” It doesn't work because she thinks, “I'm an adult and I can have ice cream whenever I want,” so she just eats the ice cream without cleaning the kitchen first.

Another example of a reward that doesn't work: when parents try to pay their kids to do chores—say $1 for cleaning their room—the kid will think, “It only costs $1 to not have to clean my room,” and decide it makes sense not to do it.

Intrinsic rewards work

Instead, the rewards that work for White are the natural consequences of completing the task. The reward for finally getting rid of an appliance that doesn't work is never having to think again about whether she should fix it or get just rid of it. The reward for doing the dishes every night is never having to deal with a mountain of dishes.

This was the moment when I got off the couch and put away some towels that had been sitting in the dryer for days. The reward of doing it then was that I wouldn't forget about it until a much less convenient moment when I would have to interrupt whatever I'm doing to put them away because someone else needs to use the dryer.

Isn't that obvious?

While points out that this is exactly the kind of thing people who are naturally motivated to clean always say: “The reward for cleaning is that the house will be clean.” People like us don't get this naturally, even if we hear it over and over. We have to experience the feeling to realize how good it feels. She didn't realize how much easier it is to do the dishes when you do them every night until she started doing it every night.

Why is it so hard for us to recognize the intrinsic rewards of doing chores?

This reminded me of some of the things Dr. Russell Barkley says about ADHDers. This is no surprise since Dana White's methods are quite popular among ADHDers as she has some acknowledged ADHD tendencies herself.

Dr. Barkley says that ADHDers have difficulty motivating ourselves to do tasks because we're not as good as visualizing what they will look like when finished, or imagining how we'll feel when we're done. People who don't have this limitation are motivated to clean because they can anticipate the feeling of reward that they'll get when they're done, which makes just doing the task feel rewarding to them. We have less access to that feeling, so we fell less motivated.

A shortcut to anticipating the reward

Dr. Barkley recommends using pictures to help us see our goals, and talking to ourselves out loud (when appropriate) about our plans or writing them down. The idea is to replace missing or weak internal cues with external ones.

So, maybe this will help motivate us to finish tasks: verbalize to yourself what the intrinsic reward of completing the task is. You can practice just thinking about it, or say it out loud if that works for you, but why not try this?

A to-do list with a “reward” column

When you write a to-do list, divide the page into two columns. On the left, write the task. On the right, write down what the reward of completing it will be. These need to be intrinsic rewards, so no ice cream, unless the task is “go grocery shopping” and one of the things on your grocery list is ice cream. Here are some examples of actual things I need to do:

Task: Buy frames for some art prints I bought and hang them. Reward: I'll be able to enjoy looking at the pictures. Also, they won't be cluttering up my coffee table anymore.

Task: Reply to a text from my mom. Reward: I won't have to keep reminding myself that I need to do it and compose the exact message in my head in my head every time I think about it.

I actually replied to my mom immediately after typing that, so it seems to actually work. Like most ADHD tips I expect it will be really effective for me for a few weeks at most, and then still kind of work but be significantly less effective after that. I think that's a fact of life and the secret is really just to keep trying new techniques all the time, so I'm glad to have found a new one.